Leave Me ALONE

The last few weeks after work, I get home and find a message or two on my answering machine. At first, this was quite exciting because I typically get phone calls on my cell and not my home phone. I think: I wonder who could be calling me at home! A long lost friend who looked me up? Publisher's Clearing House? No such luck. Lately, it's been what sounds like a prerecorded or canned message telling me how important it is to vote on election day to throw the bums out of Washington and to thwart Bush's evil plan to send the country down the shitter. I appreciate their efforts. The problem is I AM SICK OF GETTING THE SAME MESSAGE EVERY DAY TO VOTE FOR BOB CASEY OR ED RENDELL.

So this morning, I had an idea. Yes, a rare ocassion. How about I leave an outgoing message that states:

You have reached Mr. and Mrs. Slave to Mister Stinny. We are unable to answer our phone right now. If you are calling from the Democratic Party, please rest assured that we are voting and we PROMISE to vote for all the democrats about who you are calling. You don't need to call anymore because you are getting my hopes up that it is someone much more interesting and I swear to Mr. Stinny we...will...vote...democrat. If you are calling about a republican candidate, please hang up immediately and put yourself in a corner. There is no way in hell we are voting for a former football player or a right wing nutjob. You should be ashamed of yourself. Have a nice day.