7 Things I Plan to do Someday
1. Have the Church of Mr. Stin be the most popular church in the world
2. Eat an entire chicken
3. See if Chief Justice Robert’s hair reallly moves
4. Marry Biggy D
5. Take a 19 hour nap
6. Eat an entire chicken
7. Learn to toot on command

7 Things I Can do
1. Eat
2. Sleep
3. Poop
4. Meow
5. Kill bugs
6. Eat rodents
7. Rule the world

7 Things I Cannot do
1. I can’t thee athhole, I’m blind, god damn it!
2. Marry Biggy D
3. Understand Chief Justice Roberts’ hair
4. Go outside – that sh*t freaks me out
5. Willingly go into a cat carrier
6. Kitty fart on command…yet
7. Jump on the counter (see 1)

7 Things that Attract me to Another Cat
1. Fur
2. Willingness to groom me non-stop
3. Ability to hunt
4. Wrestling ability
5. Polydactyl (extra digits)
6. Willingness to share leftovers
7. Outstanding, perhaps borderline obsessive, grooming habits