I Joined a Cult

Okay not really but it kinda sorta feels that way. One of our staff members at our firm gave me a two week free (FREE! I LOVE FREE!) pass to Curves. Last night, I went to answer questions such as: Do you know that exercise can help you lose weight? Seriously? Wow I had absolutely no idea! Gee!

First, it made me worry that some people would not know the answer. Second, the question made me want to run out of there so fast she wouldn't know what happened. But, I stayed and answered other asinine questions about how if you want to lose weight, you cannot go to Country Buffet with your feed bag on and go to town. DAMN! There goes my plan tonight.

The fun part: the weigh-in, measurements, BMI and body fat percentage calculations. Lovely. It's awesome when some skinny young woman is measuring my thighs.

So back to the Cult. For some reason, whenever I go to a place like Curves or Weight Watchers or even to the Happy Chef or whatever it's called, I feel like I am being sucked into a cult. The members seem so enchanted by whatever the leader says. The leaders act as if their plan is the best plan ever and if your/our/whoever's lord and savior Jesus H. Christ came down with a fitness/nutrition plan, he could not do IT BETTER DAMMIT! The leaders are so enthusiastic that I feel like I am some immoral heathen who does not appreciate the magic that is the Point System or the 30 minute exercise regime or the magic cheese shreader (I like my Cuisinart Food Processor, thank you very much!).

Personally, it gives me the creeps. Maybe I just have never been a "joiner". I did not join a sorority in college. Plus, I avoid being associated with any organized religion. I feel like I am being boxed in to some sort of image or norm. It's as if a straight jacket is being tightened around me and I cannot breathe. I know no one is forcing me to join and I won't. When I'm done with my free (FREE!) two weeks, I'll continue running and going to the YMCA (I don't have the same claustrophobic feelings there) and leave the Cult behind.