Irish Wolfhound

Here are a few things I would really like to say when I am walking my Irish Wolfhound and people approach me.

1. No he's not a god damn pony.
2. No, I do not put a f'in saddle on him.
3. He eats 6 cups of food a day, considering he weighs 160 pounds, that doesn't seem so bad.
4. I cannot believe you are asking me about my dog's defecation habits. Gross.
5. Yes, he lives inside; he does not live in a stall.
6. Actually, he does bite. I think it's so much fun to try to control a 160 pound viscous dog in public. No liability there!

There are many many many other absurd comments people enjoy making when I walk Finnegan that I can't think of right now. I know I sound bitchy (shocker), but those of you who own giant breed dogs or unusual breeds will understand.

Teachings Against the Church of Mr. Stin...

Hee hee hee. Thanks human friend, Jen. The Onion has done it again:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/45814

FYI - Cats and Jesus do not go together. Especially when it involves dunking said cat in a bathtub. Some blood might be shed...

Here is why my human's life is weird and I like being a cat

As told to me by my human mom:

"As I was driving to work, I saw an older baby blue hearse passing by with an older man driving and a very large stuffed animal in the passenger seat. When I pulled in behind the hearse, I saw the license plate said "Clem" which is my dad's name. "

And the Oscar Goes to...

I am a bit torn with the Best Picture winner. Although Crash was an excellent movie, I still prefer Brokeback Mountain for personal cat reasons. I think if the movie incorporated Biggy D and my love story, it would have totally swept the Oscars.

I think Donald's rough and psychotic portrayal of Ennis would have been touching with his random hissing and sudden need to groom me incessantly. His tail chasing and killing the sheep would move any person who has ever been in love.

Hell, maybe I could win for my portrayal of Jack. Considering the "maverick" movie year, the Academy would be all over choosing a blind cat as best supporting actor. Even if I would get scared on the set and hide in a corner for three-quarters of the movie.

I can only dream...