http://rpc.technorati.com/rpc/ping Slave to Mr. Stinny (The One and Only Blind Super-Cat): November 2006

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Here's a Shocker

You scored as Existentialist. Existentialism emphasizes human capability. There is no greater power interfering with life and thus it is up to us to make things happen. Sometimes considered a negative and depressing world view, your optimism towards human accomplishment is immense. Mankind is condemned to be free and must accept the responsibility.

Existentialist

75%

Modernist

69%

Postmodernist

63%

Cultural Creative

50%

Idealist

50%

Romanticist

50%

Materialist

44%

Fundamentalist

19%

What is Your World View?
created with QuizFarm.com

Jazz

On a positive note, I am so excited to see some live jazz tonight!!!!

Ugh


I should have gone to my cult last night. Reason number 473 why smoking in public sucks for non-smokers. I feel like I now have a cold today. My throat is scratchy, my nose is congested, my lungs feel tight, and my sinuses are sore. Poor me. I hate to think about how the bartenders and waitstaff feel every night. Just imagine the buildup of cigarette smoke in their airways each shift they work. Day after day, month after month, year after year. And yes, there are more nonsensical editorials in the paper recently that provide the impetus for writing this post.


Note to self: do not eat the food at that bar/restaurant again! It is the second time I have been sick!


That picture is of a smoker's lungs. Just an illustration of what it could do to workers who are exposed to second hand smoke.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

The Big Dilemma

Go to happy hour to meet my friend's new boyfriend or go to my cult meeting (Curves)? Such decisions.

Hmmm. Maybe I will do both and go to happy hour all sweaty or to the cult half in the bag.

Either option is classy.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

My Mind Is Screwed Up

Yesterday, as I have learned, is a holiday in the Commonwealth. One, of course, I do not celebrate as a vegetarian. I understand the arguments for hunting deer - population control, etc, etc. HOWEVER, if we did not kill off the natural predators and build up the land, the problem might not be so bad.

The point is my head ain't right. After discussing hunting with our receptionist last night, I dreamed about either hitting a deer or finding one injured (I honestly cannot remember) and carrying around this doe in my arms like a baby. She wasn't kicking or trying to get away. I have no idea what I did with doe. Perhaps I took her to receive veterinary care or something. Nonetheless, when I told some people at lunch about this dream (all of their husbands hunt), they looked at me like I was nuts.

Shocker.

I Joined a Cult

Okay not really but it kinda sorta feels that way. One of our staff members at our firm gave me a two week free (FREE! I LOVE FREE!) pass to Curves. Last night, I went to answer questions such as: Do you know that exercise can help you lose weight? Seriously? Wow I had absolutely no idea! Gee!

First, it made me worry that some people would not know the answer. Second, the question made me want to run out of there so fast she wouldn't know what happened. But, I stayed and answered other asinine questions about how if you want to lose weight, you cannot go to Country Buffet with your feed bag on and go to town. DAMN! There goes my plan tonight.

The fun part: the weigh-in, measurements, BMI and body fat percentage calculations. Lovely. It's awesome when some skinny young woman is measuring my thighs.

So back to the Cult. For some reason, whenever I go to a place like Curves or Weight Watchers or even to the Happy Chef or whatever it's called, I feel like I am being sucked into a cult. The members seem so enchanted by whatever the leader says. The leaders act as if their plan is the best plan ever and if your/our/whoever's lord and savior Jesus H. Christ came down with a fitness/nutrition plan, he could not do IT BETTER DAMMIT! The leaders are so enthusiastic that I feel like I am some immoral heathen who does not appreciate the magic that is the Point System or the 30 minute exercise regime or the magic cheese shreader (I like my Cuisinart Food Processor, thank you very much!).

Personally, it gives me the creeps. Maybe I just have never been a "joiner". I did not join a sorority in college. Plus, I avoid being associated with any organized religion. I feel like I am being boxed in to some sort of image or norm. It's as if a straight jacket is being tightened around me and I cannot breathe. I know no one is forcing me to join and I won't. When I'm done with my free (FREE!) two weeks, I'll continue running and going to the YMCA (I don't have the same claustrophobic feelings there) and leave the Cult behind.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

I DID IT!!!

It certainly was not anything impressive, I can assure you. I completed my first road race on Thanksgiving morning. My husband kicked ASS. He finished in the top ten of his age group. I, well, finished. HOWEVER, I was not last in my age group. The race was kind of a cluster fuck with runners and walkers mixed together in the 5K. Because of this, it made the start very difficult. I had to dodge and run around lines of walkers. I have absolutely nothing against walkers but it seems like they should line up or start after the runners. Just my opinion from my vast experience in my one and only road race. Another thing I learned: DO NOT DRINK COFFEE BEFORE RUNNING IN A RACE. Now, I have a sensitive stomach anyway. Half way into the race, I felt like I was going to puke. No coffee for me before running in a race. Ugh. Like I said, I finished and I already want to enter another 5K!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Smoking Ban Tirade (with Love)

This is going to be short. Or not. I am completely sick of the editorials that I'm reading in the paper from people who are against the smoking ban. I have no problem with one voicing an opinion. But please, be relatively informed.

1. You do NOT, I repeat DO NOT have a fundamental right or a constitutional right to smoke in a public place. Period. It does not say that in the constitution. Furthermore, none of the amendments provide a fundamental right to smoke nor has the Supreme Court interpreted the constitution as providing a fundamental right to smoke in public.

2. It is surprising that some make the argument stating: "If it is so bad then the federal government should ban it." As nice as that would be, I am not a 100% that the federal government has that power in the Commerce Clause or Interstate Commerce Clause at this point. Likewise, and I am generalizing here, those who make this type of argument tend to oppose federal government intrusion into their lives. I suppose the federal government through the Supreme Court could ban smoking in public along the same lines as it prohibited hotels from banning people of color. In essence, this is using the interstate Commerce Clause (if I remember correctly). In the end, I support this argument. Let the feds ban smoking in public and then I do not have to worry in any state about my air being polluted.

3. Smoking is NOT the same as drinking alcohol or eating fast foods. This is a little lesson on cause and effect. When you smoke (or breathe), you must exhale the smoke out somewhere (unless you are magic or have some odd respiratory system). You inhale and then, wait for it, you exhale. Unless you are dead, you typically cannot do one without the other. Ergo, inhaling smoke will cause an individual to exhale smoke always, and as far as my limited anatomy and physiology knowledge goes, without exception. HOWEVER, drinking alcohol does NOT always cause one to drive, then drive recklessly, carelessly, or negligently, and then hit another car or person. There is no automatic cause and effect. In other words, you can drink without driving. It is an unfortunate event that sometimes occurs, but not always. Also, eating trans fat does not necessarily affect another person to the same extent or perhaps at all. Yes, it might increase one's health insurance rates because trans fats might cause arteries to block, blood pressure to rise, and cardiac arrests and strokes to ensue thereby causing a bigger burden on insurance companies. This is not the same thing. Again, there is no automatic cause and effect. Say it with me: inhale and exhale. Inhale and exhale. You cannot have one without the other. Thus, one inhales smoke and always exhales smoke.

4. And now, the argument that states: "If you don't want to be around smoke, find a job elsewhere." How selfish can one be? I'm sorry but I think one's ability to earn a livelihood is much more important than one's ability to smoke cigarettes in public. There are a finite number of jobs, especially in our city. To force someone to choose between one's health and one's job is absurd and again, selfish of the smoker.

5. Finally, the slippery slope argument: if you ban smoking, then what next? OH MY GOD WE ARE GOING TO GO RAMPANT AND BAN EVERYTHING!!! AHHHHRRRRR!!!! IT'S A BANNING FREE FOR ALL! YEEEHAAA!. In all seriousness, I generally don't like slippery slope arguments because they tend not to occur. It is illogical that if you ban smoking in public, an activity where one must inhale and exhale secondary smoke (See #3 above), Big Brother will begin banning X, Y, and Z. This is more of a knee jerk reaction to a proposal than a valid argument. Plenty of other laws have been enacted to prohibit a particular activity without creating a slippery slope.

I am positive there are numerous other arguments that have been brought up and I am not addressing them. As one who has resided in and visited different cities with smoking bans, I must say it is delightful to enjoy an evening with friends without being subjected to one's second hand smoke. And if one is worried about bars and restaurants failing, these restaurants and bars were just as packed, if not more so, than before the smoking ban.

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Sunday, November 19, 2006

The Feline Fashionista


As usual, I am procrastinating and decided that Shrimpycat, my purdy white odd-eyed kitty, should be crowned the Feline Fashionista. Not that I have any fashion sense whatsoever; however, my white cat, who enjoys spending many hours sitting in a basement window stalking small helpless creatures, does. Actually, she has strong opinions on fashion and decorating:


First, I am disgusted by the 1980's inspired decorating in local houses. On the Howard Hanna real estate show, I note many houses decorated with wallpaper borders (including my house and mom and dad are working tirelessly on removing all hideous wallpaper from our house). YUCK! For my fashion convenience, I ask everyone to rip down these borders and for that matter, all hideous wallpaper and familiarize themselves with a can of paint. AND NO! NOT BEIGE, WHITE, OFF WHITE, OR EGGSHELL! I realize I am white but the love of god, your walls do not need to be so boring.


Second, '80's hair. You know what I mean: mullets, feathered hair (especially men, *gags up hairball*), choppy bangs. Please! Even a "Rachel" haircut from the 1990's would be better (for women not men; for men that would be headbanger hair).


Third, mom jeans. If the waist of your jeans almost reaches your boobs, they are too high.


Fourth, hunting gear. I realize Hunting Season is a state holiday here but there is NO NEED to wear camo, bright orange, or hunting onesies (whatever they are called) in public.


That's enough for now. I must get back to perusing Vogue and hiding my scat in the litter box


Most Cordially,


The Feline Fashionista


Friday, November 10, 2006

A Letter to my Office

Dear Co-Workers,

I feel the need to write this letter after my "fun" little experience last night. As you are aware, my office is on the "lower level". When I am in my office, my lights are on, the hall lights are on, and the lights going down the stairs are on. Likewise, I tend to blast my music pretty loud after work when I am doing fun and exciting research. Let's put this all together: my office lights are on, the music is on, and here is a tricky one, my car is in the parking lot.

Now here is when it becomes exciting. I finally decided to leave for the evening and guess what? I turned off my lights, the hall lights, and my computer and walked up the stairs to leave. When I entered the lobby, I noted a light on that should be turned off. After walking up to the second floor, walking around to realize no one else was in the building, I headed back down the stairs to leave. I know, this is fascinating reading but I am just so much about suspense. As I stated, I was walking down the stairs and:

WARNING! PLEASE LEAVE THE BUILDING! THE POLICE HAVE BEEN CALLED! PLEASE LEAVE THE BUILDING IMMEDIATELY!

This ever-so-loud announcement with the blaring of the alarm nearly led me to fall down the stairs. After I shoved my heart back into it's correct location, I ran to the alarm and quickly put in the code while shouting numerous expletives at whoever turned the alarm on WHILE I WAS IN THE BUILDING.

Of course, I could not immediately leave. I had to wait for the security service to call to make sure "everything is all right". I assured her I was supposed to be there, someone thought it would be a totally awesome idea to turn the burglary alarm on while I was still in the building, and no, there was no need to send the entire police force to investigate.

Here's a lesson: please please make sure to check that you are indeed the last person to leave the building. I can just imagine, based on my lifelong klutzy experience, that the alarm could have scared me so much that I could have fallen down the stairs, been knocked unconscious, and had our city's finest surrounding me with guns aimed at yours truly.

Sincerely,

The Lower Level Inhabitant

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I Heart Democrats

Awwww...the sweet taste of VICTORY! Beh bye Santorum! Don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out! Next race, let's find a stronger democratic candidate go against Phil English, m'kay? With barely any money and support, it seems that Porter gave Big Phil a run for his money. Perhaps Mr. Stinny can run...

And to my *real* home, the Green Mountain State:

GO BERNIE! Any politician who does not mind being referred to as BERNIE!, can be seen on Church Street meeting with his constituents, and who is not afraid to be called an independent is a hero in my book.

GOOD JOB OHIO! Two democrats! Nice work this time!

Monday, November 06, 2006

DO NOT SCREW WITH MY BUSHES!


Fine, that title can be taken in several ways both perverse (um, you know) and perverse (as in the so-called president). BUT, it is not in reference to either. We have tall bushes along the boundary line of our neighbor's yard. They are clearly on our property. Overall, this neighbor is very nice (with the exception of the very very loud fights between neighbor's daughter and derelict boyfriend at 2 a.m.). She is always obsessively and compulsively working on her yard. I'll give her credit, it does look nice (with the exception of the Virgin Mary and Jesus statues). However, her obsessive compulsiveness HAS CROSSED THE LINE.


We did a lot of trimming of our shrubbery this summer, including the bushes along the property line. Due to Finnegan's cancer treatment and my spectacular fracture, we could not keep up with the yard as much as we would like. Our yard does look acceptable. It is not overgrown, there are not many weeds, and we have not been cited by the city like some people I will not mention who live across the street from us and who are not familiar with this fancy new invention called the lawn mower. That is besides the point. One day, my husband noticed that OCD neighbor or her semi-derelict son (who is all chatty-Cathy when my husband and I are outside doing yard work)* had not cut but BUTCHERED our bushes by lobbing off any branch that DARED CROSS OVER THE FENCE and dropped the offending branches on our side of the fence on or within the bushes. It looked horrible because she/he did not just trim, she/he cut way back about a foot over on our side of the property. From what I understand, one can legally trim his/her neighbor's tree or shrubbery which encroaches on one's property so long as it does not cause damage to the tree or shrubbery.


Here's the problem: besides making the tree look hideous, it made the bushes tip all the way over, almost to the ground when we had our lovely snow storm. You see, trees and shrubbery grow in a very balanced, perhaps zen-like, manner. Ommmm. When you trim one side, you need to trim the other side equally. By massacring the bushes, it caused some serious damage. Hopefully, we can salvage the bushes by trimming off some of the branches on our side.


Long story short: DO NOT TOUCH MY SHRUBBERY!


*Note: generally, we are not all chatty with people we barely know even if they live next to us. Just because we live next to you, doesn't mean we want to talk to you every time we step out of our front door.

Name Dropping

Pedicure with friend: $40.00 plus $10.00 tip

Shopping at Marshall's and T.J. Maxx for things I absolutely positively DO NOT NEED: $100.00

Going to a packed restaurant without reservations , being told they are not sure if they have a table for two, and then introducing myself and dropping a name thereby getting a great table for two: Priceless.

Yes, my friends, I will stoop to those levels.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Is Hugging a Stranger So Wrong?


I got the best news today!!! Finnegan, my Irish Wolfhound, is CANCER FREE!!!!
When the veterinary technician came out and told me that the radiologist and internist looked at his chest x-ray and saw no cancer, I almost jumped up and hugged her. Me. A person who generally does not like strangers within five feet of me.


The celebration begins tonight....

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Where's my Tinfoil Hat?


Today I had yet another physical therapy appointment for my defective wrist and it was quite strange. My lovely and talented physical therapist tried something new for said defective wrist. Basically, it was this weird electric impulse thingy (Yes! That is the technical term, dammit!) that put acidic acid (huh?) into my wrist joint through my hair follicles or something of that nature. When the sticky pad with acidic acid (?) came off, I had little pumps where the stuff was heading in my body through my hair follicles. Is it me or do I sound like a crazy person now because that makes nooooooo sense to me. Maybe I was actually getting electroshock therapy. I better wear my tin foil hat to keep the voices out.

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